I was exhausted last night & going to bow out of a gathering at Erin’s to introduce more of our friends to Jamie & her blogging savviness. That is, until I found out Jamie so sweetly was bringing me Gluten Free goodies including….a CUPCAKE! I LOVE my cupcakes, so that was my willpower to go on over & join in on the fun. I am so glad I did; a night with your girlfriends can truly lift your spirits & for me, it made me feel less alone on some crappy subjects….job hunting, these childish job interviews AND, boy trouble! I learned that 1 of my other friends, who is awesome, had a similar date to one I went on recently….you have a great time, there is a kiss, he says he can’t wait for a 2nd date then….nada. WTH? Even though I know it is not me, I always end up thinking this, & questioning everything, ‘Was I boaring? Am I not pretty? Did I eat too much in front of him & he thinks I am a fattie? Should I not have said I have seen the Twilight movies?” For awhile after incidents like this would happen, I would go on a crying binge & start thinking I need to see a therapist to try to pin-point just what is so un-desireable about me. But for the past few months, maybe I would say within this year, I have come to this great conclusion: No. It is not us. These men should be the ones trying to impress US & making us feel like a freaking princess; not the other way around. My friends who have these same struggles are some of the coolest women ever, & they seem to enjoy my company, so I know I must be just as awesome as them, too. I think it would all be alot better for us girls if these boys (yes, boys…not men) didn’t say the things they say to us; you know damn well you have no intention of calling us again, so DO NOT say you can’t wait for a 2nd date, DO NOT kiss or make out with us! We will get the wrong idea cuz, you know, you ARE kind of sending signals that you must dig us, when maybe you do not.
I have also encountered, as well as my friends, the dudes who seem to enjoy making you feel awful. How do they end up being the ones who want to stick around? Telling you you’re chubby, too outspoken, not comfortable with yourself, insecure, blah blah blah. They’re on a power trip I am not interested in taking. I have learned to book my ticket off that ride if that starts happening! Another friend spoke of guys who tell her these kind of put downs because their MOM told them to….excuse me?!
Luckily, I feel with age comes wisdom, & valuing yourself more. In my time while I have lived down here in SoCal, I have had my struggles, ups & downs. I am finally learning that I am awesome just how I am, I do not need a man to validate this. If a guy comes along who loves me just the way I am & wants to be apart of my life, wonderful. If not, thats ok, too. I have great friends & a support system in my life. For the past few weeks, I have been proud of myself; if I am running late somewhere & don’t have time to put make-up on, guess what? I don’t! Usually, that is a top priority of mine (& yes if I don’t put any on I do bring mascara along to apply at a stoplight haha). I think little things like this are great because they are showing you you are more stable in your own skin. Even for that last date, I had minimal make-up on & wore a sporty outfit…no heels or fancy stuff, cuz heels & dressing up isn’t always me.
What are some of your date horror stories? What are you doing to enjoy your life & except yourself for who you are?
And, on that note….a Gluten Free Cupcake recipe!!!;-)
Vanilla Cupcakes with Chocolate Frosting
- ½ cup coconut flour, sifted
- ½ teaspoon celtic sea salt
- ¼ teaspoon baking soda
- 6 eggs
- ½ cup grapeseed oil
- ½ cup agave nectar
- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
- In a medium bowl, combine coconut flour, salt and baking soda
- In a small bowl, blend together eggs, grapeseed oil, agave and vanilla
- Mix wet ingredients into dry and blend with a mixer or hand blender until smooth
- Pour batter into well oiled muffin pan
- Bake at 350° for 20 minutes
- Cool completely
- Top with chocolate frosting
Makes 12 cupcakes