Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday: Being Yourself.

I  have been searching for a new job pretty steadily for a while now, filling out on-line applications, trying to make connections. Most have led to no avail so you can imagine that I was quite excited when I got a call for an interview, as well as a follow-up, at a very high-end department store at a posh SoCal shopping mecca…woot!;)

Yet….I left the super nice lady a voicemail that I would  not be returning for the 3rd & final appointment to meet the Executive Manager of the location, which I think was to offer me this position. I went back & forth on this SO much but, all I kept adding up were things I did not like about the job & type of store it is…they told me to make sure to be as polished as can be, wear more make-up (I had on my usual ‘made-up’ face, which is 7 products of goop), add in lipstick (not a fan…doesn’t Burts Bees count?), have a more professional purse, wear earrings (But my ears are not pierced), buy a black suit jacket (which I really did not want to spend $50 on unless I got hired) & not use any vocabulary like ‘Yeah’ or ‘Cool’. The language, I can understand, but, I felt so out-of-place! This is not me. I have never been asked of so much for an interview….& for a part-time holiday gig:/

I feel so conflicted….I am getting older (My birthday is a month away–oy) & know I should make a leap to something more ‘grown up’. I know I am not always the most professional person in the room, but, is it that bad? In order to grow, do I need to change myself to the point I would feel un-comfortable at a job, worried I might slip & say ‘Yeah’ instead of ‘Yes’ to a client? To make sure my brows are waxed at all times & my lipstick caked on & in place? It would weaken  my performance, I know.

I also have the typical life question, why must this seem to work out if I want, yet jobs I have really wanted & hoped to get, did not work out? Do I just have to continually think of the good outcomes when I did not get what I had hoped? Example, a theatre job I thought for sure would be mine, I should just think its good I did not get it since I am now back pursuing more education? Hmmm…

The ironic thing is, I AM back in school for my theatre passion, & went from the interview to class. There, in my all-black get up, I realized how giddy I felt around the theatre campus pretending to be a Stage Manager (as they usually have to wear all black in order to blend in in-case they must sneak on stage). My excitement at the thought of perhaps wearing that outfit on a tech job got me much more hopeful for my future than the retail job. It also reminded me that some of my favorite memories have been while at theatres, not always getting paid, just having FUN. Times are hard, we all need money & the thought of a new job is lucrative, yet is it worth being miserable or worried about ‘Will I really have to wear more make-up if I work there? Make sure to have a 3 piece suit? Maybe she won’t notice if I don’t?’ (& mind you, this supervisor was just going out of her way to help me make a great impression & could not have been more gracious to me. I just cannot see myself in that environment).

Despite if I am STILL wondering if I made the right choice, it is great to realize how important it is to be yourself. Why would I want to accept a job that I feel like I must be on my best behavior? I truly did not feel like me there. At all. I have worked so hard to surround myself around people whom accept me for just how I am. Friends I know don’t care if I don’t always wear make-up. Friends who know I like to cuss (which I should work on!!). All my jobs, I realized, have at-least allowed my true self to shine through. Isn’t life too short to be miserable? All I could stack up after the 2nd interview were the cons, hardly any pros. Why live a life with more cons than pros?

About Along Comes Mary

Book Worm, Internet Nerd, Blogger, Daughter, Friend, Caffeine Addict, Non Smoker who sometimes smokes, Lover, Fighter, Ear with Feet, In Search of Bunbury, Gluten Free Pescatarian. Enough about me, what about YOU?;-)
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9 Responses to Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday: Being Yourself.

  1. You made the right decision. Whatever job you have you have to be comfortable there. It’s where you will be spending a ton of time. The extra income would have been great, but at what consequences? You will find something that will be a better match for you.

  2. Melanie says:

    I completely agree. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. I’ve been in the same situation and just went with my gut. I think that’s the best way to go.

  3. Dysfunctional Mom says:

    I think you found your answer by writing this out. =)
    I think you’d be miserable there. Trying to be someone you’re not sort of sucks your soul out. And there’s a difference in professionalism and doing something that just feels totally wrong. I would love to be barefoot at work – I can’t. I also don’t curse around my clients (it can be a struggle some days – ha!). That’s just being professional. I couldn’t take that job either – it’s just not me. Leave that job to someone who IS like that and will rock it! You’ll find something more suited to you.

  4. Susan Cooper says:

    I’m with Melanie, Go with with your instincts. They are usually spot on. Whenever I didn’t, I wound up hating the situation and leaving it any way… just saying

  5. So true. Being yourself, regardless of what you are doing is so important. You’ll be happier, and much better at doing things that feel like YOU. I believe we’re all led on paths to where we are supposed to be, even the frustrating things make us realize things that we need to be aware of to make things better and happier in the long fun.

    Keep up your theatre classes and dresses in all black…sounds like that is where your heart is!

    Stopping by from Shell’s PYHO!

  6. I hope you can find something that is a better fit for you!

  7. Good Lord! That’s a lot of demands. Yes! Life is too short to be miserable. Stopped by from Shell’s place.

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